Tuesday, January 26, 2010

A Rockmocker call to action!

Greetings fellow dwellers of The Rockosphere!

The Rockmocker is currently on assignment (i.e. busy with paying work) and will likely not be posting for the remainder of this week. But I do have important news to share...
The Rockmocker has recently secured funding to break ground on The Rockmocker Center for the Study of Dubious Metaphors for Sexual Congress in Rock Lyrics

Now I need your help! Have you collected a favorite lyrical euphemism for doing the nasty? A carnal turn of phrase that is juvenile, puerile, prosaic, or flat-out goofy? Please send them in to the rockmocker and together we will build the largest (and only) database of lyrical intercourse innuendo in the world. This invaluable research tool will then be permanently posted on the Rockmocker site.

I'll get things started with a couple of my favorites:

My cup is on the table, my love is spilling
Waiting here for you to take and drink of...
-Roll With the Changes, REO

Show me round your fruitcage
‘cause I will be your honey bee
open up your fruitcage
where the fruit’s as sweet as can be...
-Sledgehammer, Peter Gabriel

What say you, fellow rocker? Will you be a part of this historic endeavor?
Post your contribution as a comment to this post or email the Rockmocker.

Now, get out there and think dirty!


  1. How about when Van Morrison sings "Making love in the green grass behind the stadium." I mean, come on Van! What's that supposed to mean?

    Okay, I'll keep thinking...

  2. How about when Van sang, "I wanna roo you"? I think he picked that up on a boyhood trip down under. Have you any idea what those guys do to kangaroos?

  3. Ian Dury and the Blockheads:

    "Hit me with your rhythm stick.
    Hit me! Hit me!
    Je t'adore, ich liebe dich,
    Hit me! hit me! hit me!
    Hit me with your rhythm stick.
    Hit me slowly, hit me quick.
    Hit me! Hit me! Hit me!"

    Please keep your rhythm stick zipped up, thank you!

  4. My all-time favorite is Led Zeppelin's "The Lemon Song":

    Squeeze me, babe, 'till the juice runs down my leg
    Do, squeeze, squeeze me, baby, until the juice runs down my leg
    The wayyou squeeze my lemon-a
    I'm gonna fall right outta bed, 'ed, 'ed, bed, yeah

    If that isn't a reference to a handjob, I don't know what is.

  5. Bullet Boys: Smooth Up In Ya!
    Bruce Springsteen: "Pink Cadillac/Crushed velvet seats/Riding in the back/Oozing down the street.
    Ted Nugent: Cat Scratch Fever
    Kiss: Love Gun
    Cyndi Lauper: She Bop
    The Beatles: Drive My Car
    - And again Van Morrison's Brown Eyed Girl - with emphasis on the "brown eye."

  6. Alice Cooper: I'm your gun / from Trash 1989

    Pull my trigger, I get bigger, then i'm lots of fun
    I'm your gun..... I'm your gun, gun, gun.
    Bite my bullet, push and pull it, tell me i'm the one
    I'm your gun..... i'm your gun, gun, gun

    Lets hope its not a machine gun, she'll be in for an interesting night if it is.

  7. Bob Marley:

    Quench me when I'm thirsty;
    Come on and cool me down, baby, when
    I'm hot. (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
    Your recipe is, - darlin' - is so tasty,
    When you show and stir your pot. (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)