Monday, November 30, 2009

A question for Bob Dylan...

Rockmocker reader R.R. writes:

Still watching the parking meters...nothing yet. What exactly am I watching for?

R.R. is talking, of course, about Bob's cryptic admonition in the song Subterranean Homesick Blues. 

Thanks for the question, R.R.--and thanks to you, Bob, 
for providing a lifetime's worth of puzzling lyrics for the 
rockmocker to ponder. 

Here's Bob, layin' it all out on paper from the 1967 documentary film Don't Look Back.

Got a question for a rocker? Send it to the rockmocker.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

A question for Journey...

How do passengers aboard the midnight train going anywhere know when they have arrived at their destination?

lyrics to Don't Stop Believin' here

Monday, November 23, 2009

A question for Bono...

Rockmocker reader P.N. is confounded by Mr. Paul David Hewson, alias Bono. He writes:

I find it difficult to believe that Bono still hasn't found what he's looking for. The man can save the third world, hug George Bush, snog the Dali Lama, be friends with Steve Jobs, sing at Obama's inauguration, address the UN, fondle Oprah, etc., so why can't he organize himself properly and resolve this perplexing search?

Good point, P.N. By my count, it's been 22 years now that Bono's been looking. I wonder if he's tried behind the couch.

Not out here...

Nope. Not down there...

Thanks anyway, ladies. Not what I'm looking for.

Maybe if I use this telescope...

Thanks for the question, P.N., and good luck with your continued search, Mr. Hewson!

Got a question for Bono or another earnest and important rocker, send it to the rockmocker and we'll pass it along.

A question for Led Zeppelin...

Why would the neighbors care one way or another if you loved me each and every day?

Good Times, Bad Times lyrics here.

Couldn't find any worthwhile video, but there's an audio stream here.

Friday, November 20, 2009

A question for Lynyrd Skynyrd...

Well, we've only been live for a week and we're already to Freebird.

Inquisitive reader D.R. recently sent this question in to Rockmocker Command Center:

Dear Lynyrd,
re: Freebird
If you'll never change, indeed can't change, then why wouldn't things be the same if you stayed? Seems to me things would be exactly the same, what with you incapable of change and all. 

Thanks for that great question, D.R., and thanks to all of you out there in the rockosphere who've sent in your own urgent queries to the rockmocker. Please remember, we don't answer questions here--we just ask them, and wait patiently for the monsters of rock to reply. Which makes it difficult if they've died in a plane crash or choked to death on their own vomit. Or both.

Keep ridin' the storm out, flyin' like an eagle, and most of all, don't stop believin'.
-the rockmocker

lyrics to Freebird here

Thursday, November 19, 2009

A question for Stevie Nicks...

Which edge of seventeen was it--front or back?

At first, I thought it had to be the front edge, between 16 and 17, because you say, "He was no more than a baby."

But many "ooh, baby ooh, baby oohs" later, you say, "I'm a few years older than you," so maybe it's the back edge. Also, since you were 32 when that song came out--I wonder if you meant to say, "I'm a few times older than you."

Got a question for Stevie Nicks or another lace-clad rocker? Send it to the rockmocker and I'll pass it along.

Here's a rockmocker knock-knock joke especially for our UK readers...

Who's there?
Stevie Nicks.
Stevie Nicks who?
Stevie Nicks her clothes from the charity shop--mostly from the bedding section.

A question for Paul Simon...

Rockmocker reader, P.M., can't help but wonder...
What exactly were you doing with Cecilia that you had to get up and wash your face?

Excellent question, P.M!

He was making love. In the afternoon. Then, apropos of nothing, he jumps up to wash his face. It's little wonder that someone had taken his place when he came back to bed. Maybe it was Julio. Or Garfunkel!

Got a question for a rocker? Send it to the rockmocker.

Watch some dirty hippies pounding on things and covering Cecilia here. I fall on the floor and I laughing.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

A question for the Wilson sisters...

You're gonna burn, burn, burn, burn, 
burn to the wick...oooohh...barracuda.

Maybe I'm not familiar with the kind of candles you're using. With the ones we use, the wick is something not "burned to," but rather, something that burns, very slowly, throughout the candle's effective life. What are your candles burning before they get to the wick? Some kind of pre-wick extension maybe?

Check out Heart performing Barracuda live in 1977.
Take out Ann and Nancy, and this could be Spinal Tap.
(Video goes fuzzy at about 2 min. but it comes back.)

Got a question for the Wilson sisters or any other classic rocker, send it to the rockmocker and maybe you'll see it in a future post.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

A question for Steve Miller...

If you wanted so badly to be with your sweet baby, why didn't you just go directly from Phoenix, Arizona to northern California (about 820 miles to Sonoma County) rather than going via Tacoma, Philadelphia, Atlanta, and L.A. (approx. 7,908 miles)?

Monday, November 16, 2009

So many questions for America...

So, you've spent nine days in the desert, trit-trotting along on your horse, observing the flora, "looking at all the life," as you say. Nine days--and this is your account of what you saw there:
“plants and birds and rocks and things….”
“Things?” Really? Are you three years old?

I guess that kind of descriptive narration should be expected of a guy who can't even think of a name for his goddamn horse.

Also, "the heat was hot and the ground was dry, but the air was full of sound."

Full of sound? Was the sound coming from those "things"?
When the Eagles were in the desert, they could discern the warm smell of colitas rising up through the air (whatever the hell that is)--from a moving car! From you we get, "the air was full of sound."

Friday, November 13, 2009

A question for Paul Rodgers...

How is your mother?
Has she ever recovered from the physical and emotional trauma of giving birth to an infant with a six-gun in his hand?

Question for a classic rocker? Let the rockmocker post it on

A question for Billy Joel...

Who was this younger man, and why was the old guy at the bar wearing his clothes? Also, did they fit okay?

lyrics to Piano Man here.

Join the rockmocker in posing pressing questions to purveyors of classic rock. Email your question here.

The question to everyone's answer is usually asked from within.

I drive a lot. Long distances. I enjoy books on tape (really disc, but that doesn't sound right, does it?) The ipod is always at the ready.

But I still can't resist the radio, especially when I'm driving at night. The tuner scans up the FM dial, invariably stopping on one of four formats: country, mexican, jesus, or classic rock--the pillars of FM radio, at least where I drive. The first three don't interest me in the least. I guess I don't speak those languages.

My relationship with classic rock is a complicated one. Maybe an abusive one. I hate it, but I love it. I walk out on it but can't stay away. It bludgeons me with its three chords and batters me with inane lyrics that were probably really never meant to be dwelled upon. But dwell I do. Because what I love most about classic rock and roll are the words. They make me want to ask questions.

That's what this blog is all about--questions, inspired by lyrics, that I'd like to ask history's great rockers.

Got a question you'd like to ask one of the leading lights of the classic rock era? (There's room for discussion, but for now, let's call it the two decades from 1968 to 1988.) Here's your forum. Email me and I'll throw your questions out to the rockosphere. I'll be posting my own queries regularly.

And if you're reading this and your surname happens to be Joel or Cronin or Miller or Perry or Bachman or Turner or Seger or Hagar or Henley or Frey or, God forbid, DeYoung, well, I'd love an occasional answer to these pressing questions.

Rock on.